I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
