i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
