So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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