why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize