Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I want is dick and wine.
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