just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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