Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
