i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
