I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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