How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
