You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
