FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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