therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
