There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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