So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
