she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
