We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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