Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
