so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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