I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
