Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
