I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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