"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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