can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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