he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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