youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
