Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize