Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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