I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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