Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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