my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
