i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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