Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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