Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
