He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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