Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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