on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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