Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
