i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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