im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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