This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
