If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
