Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
