So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
