It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
