i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
