I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
