i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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