where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
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I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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