Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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