He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize