it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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