if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
