FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
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I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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