I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
