Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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