Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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