Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
