your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
