I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
