I am midnight drunk by noon
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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