you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
