the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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