Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
