fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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